JessicaLynn
06-21-2006, 02:21 PM
I'm too angry to type my situation over again, so I decided to copy and paste my blog. I', really just looking for anyone who has had a similar situation and I am open to anyone's advice or opinions. Thanks!
I hate going to my specialist because I know that every time I go, I could hear the words that I have been dreading since I've been diagnosed. Ya know, any words that mean "the end."
Well, I heard those words today... and they are ringing in my ears. It's like a blaring sound has echoed through me and conjured up sorrow, and then anger. No, actually.... I'm pissed! I am so extremely pissed! I'm fuming! :EP: Yet, there is nothing that I can really do... and so I feel helpless as well. My knee is deteriorating, which means I have to stop physical activity. I love my doctor, he really has made a diffrence so it's hard for me to go against his orders. But I can't stop doing what I love... if I were to stop, I would have nothing. No challenges, no dreams, no accomplishments, nothing. I don't hate my body, though sometimes it frustrates me... I just hate Lupus. I'm angry at Lupus and I want to beat the shit out of it and slam it's ugly face in to a curb "Bite the Curb, Punk."... I know, graphic details. But because there is no person walking around named Lupus, the only way I can beat the living shit out of it is by continuing to do what I love. Therefore, I will not miss a day of training either at the gym or on the field! What does this mean? Well, my doc said he figured I would go against his orders so he told me what's in store... I have to have my knee drained a lot, have injections in my knee when the pain gets unbearable, and more inflammatory medication to ingest... I guess things could be worse, but for me this is upsetting enough
F##k you, Lupus! and your little dog, too!
I hate going to my specialist because I know that every time I go, I could hear the words that I have been dreading since I've been diagnosed. Ya know, any words that mean "the end."
Well, I heard those words today... and they are ringing in my ears. It's like a blaring sound has echoed through me and conjured up sorrow, and then anger. No, actually.... I'm pissed! I am so extremely pissed! I'm fuming! :EP: Yet, there is nothing that I can really do... and so I feel helpless as well. My knee is deteriorating, which means I have to stop physical activity. I love my doctor, he really has made a diffrence so it's hard for me to go against his orders. But I can't stop doing what I love... if I were to stop, I would have nothing. No challenges, no dreams, no accomplishments, nothing. I don't hate my body, though sometimes it frustrates me... I just hate Lupus. I'm angry at Lupus and I want to beat the shit out of it and slam it's ugly face in to a curb "Bite the Curb, Punk."... I know, graphic details. But because there is no person walking around named Lupus, the only way I can beat the living shit out of it is by continuing to do what I love. Therefore, I will not miss a day of training either at the gym or on the field! What does this mean? Well, my doc said he figured I would go against his orders so he told me what's in store... I have to have my knee drained a lot, have injections in my knee when the pain gets unbearable, and more inflammatory medication to ingest... I guess things could be worse, but for me this is upsetting enough
F##k you, Lupus! and your little dog, too!