Confrontation

[John VanDemark]

So, I have asked many people about this and would like opinions/stories on this board. Everyone here is very down to earth and many are of massive proportions. I find that this doesnt always work well for me.....example:

Im pulling up to an intersection and some guy cuts me off (just happened). He proceeds to try and stare me down from his minivan at which time I give him a wink and a smile as if to say "you dont want me to get out, trust me!" Now typically you just shrug it off but Im sliding on ice here!!! I later drive up next to him a mile down the road and he keeps looking at me. What does this guy want? A beatdown? :EP:

Im hard to anger so I dont take these things too seriously most of the time, but there are sometimes where I just fear for that person. I attribute this to people seeing larger guys as a "challenge." Am I right? Do you guys have this problem?

Please let me know.

[Wes Peart]

I attribute this to people seeing larger guys as a "challenge." Am I right? Do you guys have this problem?
Please let me know.

99% of the population sees "larger guys" as a death wish :LOL:

[Will Irby]

Being larger than the "average" american male for most of my life, definately once I hit 20 yrs old, I know the feeling. I often found myself frequently "popular" with smaller guys at parties or in bars. After alcohol and egoes collided it was like they looked at me like I thought I was better than them or something. They talk smack and sometimes push, but usually nothing happens. Just a lot of talk.

I'll go with the example I give most people when they ask me about fighting:

You rarely see two big guys going at it. I often broke up fights (I was in charge of security at all of our Fraternity events, use your imagination), and it was never 2 big guys. Always a little guy and an average sized guy.

I think big guys usually understand that if they get into it with another big guy, there is a very good liklihood that both will end up damaged, and usually they arent interested in that.

I have a very short temper in the car (impatience thanks to my dad, hey its genetic), but I just have to keep it in check. Fighting is for kids man, unless it is in an octagon circle, then it is awesome!!

Just my 2 cents.

[John VanDemark]

Yeah, I've been a bouncer or THE bouncer sometimes and its exactly like you say. Little guys got something to prove! Often I find that no one want to share the walkway with you either. This especially ticks me off cause they are guaranteed to say something when hit by a 270lb shoulder. Usually its "sorry, man." But when its "watch where youre going," you turn around and they talk smack while running a 4 minute mile!

Whatever! I just had to vent. Keep'em coming!

[ClayEdgin]

I'm finding that I have developed quite a temper behind the wheel when I'm by myself. Sometimes the urge to rush the driver side of their car and put my fist through the glass and into their skull is just too much. I keep it in check when I'm driving with someone else. In fact, my wife says that I drive like a grandpa.

I've met more than a handful of little guys with a chip on their shoulder against big guys. But it's a lose-lose situation for a big guy. Scrap with a little dude who wants it and kick his ass, and people think you're a bully. Scrap with one and lose, then you're a giant puss. I've had it go either way when fighting little guys, but got better once I used my reach :)

Not that I'm some kind of badass or anything. Trouble found me a lot when I was younger.

[Wes Peart]

I'm finding that I have developed quite a temper behind the wheel when I'm by myself. Sometimes the urge to rush the driver side of their car and put my fist through the glass and into their skull is just too much. I keep it in check when I'm driving with someone else. In fact, my wife says that I drive like a grandpa.

I've met more than a handful of little guys with a chip on their shoulder against big guys. But it's a lose-lose situation for a big guy. Scrap with a little dude who wants it and kick his ass, and people think you're a bully. Scrap with one and lose, then you're a giant puss. I've had it go either way when fighting little guys, but got better once I used my reach :)

Not that I'm some kind of badass or anything. Trouble found me a lot when I was younger.

Yeah, like trouble from those mean concrete ash trays :FF:

[Scott Markowitz]

I tend to let a lot of stuff slide, almost always. When in a crowd, I'll generally move out of others' way. One night in Austin, TX, I had had a bad day and was feeling somewhat surly and decided that "dudgumit, it takes a lot of work to weigh 300+, I am going to benefit from it." A group of frat boys was walking toward me on the sidewalk, and wasn't paying a bit of attention. I decided not to move. The poor sap that actually walked in to me went flying like I'd given him a forearm shiver (all I did was keep walking normally). The other guys in the group - 4 or 5 of them - all said "holy $#!+" but none of them made any moves toward me. I just kept walking. I mean, they were skinny frat boys, but there were 4 or 5 of them, there were a bunch of others like them around, and I though my wife could probably take one or two of them I didn't feel like getting into it with all of Austin that night.

[Todd Malone]

...unless it is in an octagon circle...
???

Or a square triangle?

[Chris Mathison]

and I though my wife could probably take one or two of them I didn't feel like getting into it with all of Austin that night.

its hilarious that you factor in how many your wife could take out for you if you get into it with a bunch of guys.

To the main poster. Most of us has to deal with what you described. Its usually in bars for me. Its not that they have something to prove. Its that you hurt there self esteem by being built and big. ITs like you took a shot at him without you even knowing it. Its messed up that I actually make it a point that when I feel a situation like that is amidst. I will actually take steps to be especially less agressive to said guy. So I dont hurt his ego with my presence. if that makes sense... It seems the only time I am comfortable and not worried about ego's is when im around strongman type guys.. hmm.. go figure..

[Rus Mandery]

"A lot of people hate this hat. It angers people, just the sight of it."

[JEFF VANCO]

Hey bro like Arnold said - the guy in the little bmw rev's his engine at every stop light. The guy in the Ferrari just cruises and smiles because he knows at any second he can smoke the other guy. The better you get, the less you have to show it. I'm not saying to ever let someone punk you - hell no. Just laugh it off and put your energy toward better things like getting stronger and making money.

[Barney Shannon]

I later drive up next to him a mile down the road and he keeps looking at me. What does this guy want?

Maybe he thinks you're cute? :N:


I attribute this to people seeing larger guys as a "challenge." Am I right? Do you guys have this problem?


When I was a young stud, there usually were small guys out to prove something to themselves.

[chrisklavette]

OK guys, small guy (5'8" 200lb basically the size of an Icelandic child) speaking. I used to work in a bar as a bouncer (glorified beer runner for those who aren't in the know) and I every night I worked I would get a handful of dorks, smoking and drinking and doing anything else "tough guys" do, to come up to me and let me know that there is absolutely no way I would be able to physically handle them if I had to because they were taller and sometimes heavier than me. Trust me guys there are just as many big guys who try to constantly remind smaller guys of said smaller guys...shortcomings (another golden pun)

[Andreas Møller]

Drunk men (complete strangers) tend to come up to me to squeeze my upper arms.
What the hell is up with that? (sometimes they don`t stop either, but stand their squeezing for 30 seconds straight with a stupid grin on their face, how gay is that?)

[Jonathan Forrest Riggs]

Drunk men (complete strangers) tend to come up to me to squeeze my upper arms.
What the hell is up with that? (sometimes they don`t stop either, but stand their squeezing for 30 seconds straight with a stupid grin on their face, how gay is that?)

Dude,
....So, you are actually letting them "cop more than just a feel", eh?

Sorry, couldn't resist. :EL:

[Callie Marunde]

Just think if you were a muscle chick like me. A majority of guys are really intimidated by girls who are in shape or lift bigs weights in the gym!

Lucky for me there are guys (like everyone here) who think muscle is sexy! :) which it is!

On a side note Jesse and I cant hang out at typical places (restraunts bars clubs casinos ect) because non workout people are rude. They poke you, tell you how they used to look just like you, and how they used to be stronger then you.

I think what it comes down to is this. Wether you work hard to look hot, big, or lift heavy stones, people will notice. Take it as a compliment and stick around those with similar goals!

kisses!
Callie

[AaRoNSnider]

I think what it comes down to is this. Wether you work hard to look hot, big, or lift heavy stones, people will notice. Take it as a compliment and stick around those with similar goals!

Great advice!You really have to learn to walk away from the people who are looking to start trouble.Ive been in a fight(self defense..in the gym!) with a bigger guy who pulled the normal"you think youre tough?You think you are such a bad @$$ huh?" ,and even though I was defending myself,I almost went to jail.Unless those types of people actually make a move at you,its best to just look aside,and walk away before something stupid happens.It is hard,but it proves who the better man really is.

[chrisklavette]

On a side note Jesse and I cant hang out at typical places (restraunts bars clubs casinos ect) because non workout people are rude. They poke you, tell you how they used to look just like you, and how they used to be stronger then you.
kisses!
Callie
I love it when you get tips and advice from people on why diet and exercise are a bunch of B.S.

Than a week later we pick them up in our ambulances when they have a heart attack at 40. :BB:

[Matt Schumann]

i use to have a very big temper and a very big ego but i have calmed own quite a bit over the past few years... Well sometimes i flip out still but im alot better... For the most part, ts just not worth it. I try to ignore people like that on the road now. What does it achieve?

If you get out of the car and beat the crap out of him, then yeah it may help your ego but you risk bein arrested, a law suit, paying fines something bad on your record... ultimatly not worth the little boust in ego..

secoundly, what happen's if you get out of the car and get your ass kicked (which can happen no matter what size you are) then yo risk everything tht i just mentioned, a kick in the nuts ego wise, and injury.... Plus you dnt know who thesepeople are r what they have n the car... could have a weapon and you could lose alot more thn your ego.....


Then again.... its har to ignore it, for the mot part i try too but i cant always ignore it too...

I had a guy stat to take a turn right on in front of me the other nigtht but he stopped just in time, I had my fiance i the car and i was pissed, so i stopped right in fron of him so he couldnt go and did the whole stair down type routine (didnt jesture or say anyting tho) and i looked at this guy with a "what the hell are you thinking ?" type look......

It was a unmarked police suv with an officer driving..... I mean either way he was in the wrong, just because he's a cop doesnt mean that he can do stupid things on the road but he very well could of pulled me over and fined me for no reason, and right now i dont need that headache....

I do hafta admit that i kinda wish he had stopped me because i was very upset

[John VanDemark]

On a side note Jesse and I cant hang out at typical places (restraunts bars clubs casinos ect) because non workout people are rude. They poke you, tell you how they used to look just like you, and how they used to be stronger then you.


kisses!
Callie
Exactly! I hear the old "I used to have 20 inch arms and curl 250lbs when I was 20 something so I guess Im just a natural" routine on a regular basis! Its always some 180lbs 6'+ dufus with forearms bigger than his freakin shoulders, hahaha!

Thanks for all the stories everyone! I dont feel like the only one who gets this crap anymore. And when the urge to end a life comes to me I will come right home, check out some lifting videos set to angry music, and go tear the gym apart!

:M:

[Nikhil Rao]

Been dealing with it since my last growth spurt lol. It's even worse for me (from what i've observed) than it is for a lot of yall, because I'm not too far out of ordinary at only 5'11 and 200-ish. But I'm still often the biggest guy in the room. And cuz i'm that much closer to normal, I'm that much closer to their size, and thus more likely for them to win against.

The funniest incident was when the guy COULDN'T tell how big I was, just saw the INdian face. Called me Osama (a couple months after 9/11 and I went to school in NY) as I drove past. I threw the car into park and jumped out ready to strangle him; and then he saw what a cruiserweight boxer looks like. He turned tail pretty fast.

I generally deal with them by using that calm/menacing tone of voice. And if necessary, I'll let them beat themself up. One guy put his own fist into a brick wall, hoping my head would be there. On another he got all fancy and I just knocked him on his ass.

Sucks, but that's how it goes.