How do you deal with a broken heart

[Brett Hagmann]

If this forum is to discuss anything legal then I want to ask how everyone deals with a broken heart.

I've only been seeing this girl for 2 months even though we've known of each other for 7. After kissing her for the first time I felt something different and had the feeling she was the one. After feeding off her speed of the relationship there was talk of marriage and kids one day. She is a lot older than me, I am 21 and she is 30, but age did not bother us at the time. I had started to save up for a ring because I just knew she was it. There was nothing I did not like about her. She fully supported in endeaver of making it to the olympics and helped me out as she could. Anyway, we split up today due to issues on her part. They have nothing to do with me and she says she loves me, but it is something that has to be taken care of and it is going to take some time to deal with. I fully understand this and what it is going to take to make it right. I am just all torn up inside. I have trouble eating. When I try to force it down I feel like i want to throw up. I need to eat a lot because of what i do, but im having one hell of a time getting it down. Yes i've learned that things went way to fast and i know you don't have all the details, but what do you do to get better and be yourself again?

[davebeers]

the best way to get over this is to stay very, very busy. Your training right now should be your priority. Eat, eat, eat, don't let yourself lose months of progress by not eating in these hard times.
Keep good friends around you as much as you can and try to get back to your roots. Reunite with old friends and even past flings. Spend time with family, enjoy all the things that the single life has to offer.

I've gone through what you've gone through 2x and they both left me for another guy. That's even worse than things not working out because it left me feeling like i had nothing to offer anyone. I got very depressed and lots months of training progress because i slacked in my lifting and nutrition. Don't let yourself backslide because some girl got in your head. Be strong, there is no such thing as "the one", there are many possible matches out there and its up to you to find them!!!!
Good luck man, keep us updated on how your doing.

My paster ended a sermon the other day with this thought:
When something goes wrong in life you have 3 choices: You can either break down in self-pity, break out with resentment, or you can break through with christ.

[Chris Mathison]

Just takes time buddy.. thanks for sharing.

[JustinHulick]

I agree, just stay busy man. Train hang out with friends, do whatever you can to stay busy and keep your mind off of her.

[ADAMBAUER]

Hey Brett hang in there, shallow words right know but I sincerely mean it. I cannot imagine the pain,anger, frustration your feeling right now but as it was said, don't let this ruin what you have been training for. You have worked to hard and too long to let a woman that don't know what she wants to get you out of your training groove. Use these emotions as fuel and let it spur you on to massive PRs.

[Andrew]

Time heals all wounds

[Kevin Cronin]

I've gone through what you've gone through 2x and they both left me for another guy.

dave, how did you find this out if you dont mind my asking? Did they jsut level with you, or did you find out on your own ...? either way, that is brutal

Brett, only thing i can think of for the nutrition part is shakes - a lot easier to drink something than choke food down - and digestive enzymes. they help keep the appetite

[Jared Enderton]

just like Dave said, stay busy. The more you sit around and do nothing the more it creeps into your head. Just stay busy and find things to do. Never just sit around, clean your room, do the dishes, ha something to just be doing SOMETHING. Sorry to hear that man.

[davebeers]

dave, how did you find this out if you dont mind my asking? Did they jsut level with you, or did you find out on your own ...? either way, that is brutal


the last one happened after my first strongman meet. I placed 2nd and was all excited to come back and tell her. When i finally see her the next day she drops the bomb on me before i can even tell her the news!!!! Her ex was coming into town to see her and she wanted to see if they could give it one last shot!

Well, i was a wreck for about a week and actually met my wife when i was still in mourning. She had also gotten her heart broken so we decided to be friends. We started dating a couple weeks later and the rest is history.

[Kevin Cronin]

the last one happened after my first strongman meet. I placed 2nd and was all excited to come back and tell her. When i finally see her the next day she drops the bomb on me before i can even tell her the news!!!! Her ex was coming into town to see her and she wanted to see if they could give it one last shot!

Well, i was a wreck for about a week and actually met my wife when i was still in mourning. She had also gotten her heart broken so we decided to be friends. We started dating a couple weeks later and the rest is history.

cool dude, glad the answer to my question had a happy ending :)

[jay lyttle]

i have found the gym is the greatest place to mend a broken heart, feel for you bro, been there. get your ass back to work you not gonna make the olympics sitting at home.

[Matt Schumann]

dive into training......

golden opportunity for motivation


b4 my fiance'e i dated a girl for 3.5 years and she did the absolute worse things a person could do to me

finally i got rid of her and dove into training for my triathalons with the only motivaion beig how much i Effn hated her guts

I won my triathalons afterthat and made it to the national tournament b4 desidedtriaalons werent my thing

time will heal it.. use it as motivation. I think if anytng like that happenend to me right now, id probaly be a great strongman...... but family comes first to me

[Nikhil Rao]

three bits of advice

1. stay busy...gym's great for that. Or driving. Or writing. Whatever works.

2. don't hate if there's no reason to.

3. she sounds like she meant a lot to you and still does. Focus on that. Focus on how it made you feel. Focus on how great it is that you've had a chance to feel that.

It sounds like she didn't set out to hurt you and that she didn't do anything horrendous...just got to a point where it wasn't working. It happens. Be glad she was a part of your life.

[Brett Hagmann]

It sounds like she didn't set out to hurt you and that she didn't do anything horrendous...just got to a point where it wasn't working. It happens. Be glad she was a part of your life.


it was working and it still can. this situation she is in has nothing to do w/ her feelings for me or our relationship. its just so overbearing that she needs to step back and take care of it. but right now it just hurts unbelievable way

[Rus Mandery]

Girls are like dogs, when you lose one its best just to get another right away.

[Adam Keep]

If this forum is to discuss anything legal then I want to ask how everyone deals with a broken heart.

I've only been seeing this girl for 2 months even though we've known of each other for 7. After kissing her for the first time I felt something different and had the feeling she was the one. After feeding off her speed of the relationship there was talk of marriage and kids one day. She is a lot older than me, I am 21 and she is 30, but age did not bother us at the time. I had started to save up for a ring because I just knew she was it. There was nothing I did not like about her. She fully supported in endeaver of making it to the olympics and helped me out as she could. Anyway, we split up today due to issues on her part. They have nothing to do with me and she says she loves me, but it is something that has to be taken care of and it is going to take some time to deal with. I fully understand this and what it is going to take to make it right. I am just all torn up inside. I have trouble eating. When I try to force it down I feel like i want to throw up. I need to eat a lot because of what i do, but im having one hell of a time getting it down. Yes i've learned that things went way to fast and i know you don't have all the details, but what do you do to get better and be yourself again?

Stab her. That's it. It always helped me. :T:

[Elliot_Storey]

I'm in a very similar boat Brett. Do me a favor, if you see any water creeping in, bail it out. Thanks. Hang in there as I will.

[Todd Malone]

Best of luck to you and stay focused on your goals.

[Mike Pelosi]

Heres a story that may be funny and hopefully has a moral lol:

From my freshman year in highschool all the way up to the summer before I was ready to go to college and had already graduated highschool I was seeing this girl off and on, mostly on though and even in our off periods we still had a high level of connection just problems. I notice for a week she's acting really distant so one night we meet at her house and she tells me we can't be together anymore. Wow. So I logically ask, "why"?. Her response was that she was moving to Florida to live with her aunt and uncle because her home life was less then optimal (which I hole heartedly agreed with) and she wanted a better enviroment for herself. It was very sad to say goodbye that night especially seeing how bad she was about the whole thing. Even though it sucked for me, it made me see that she really cared.

The car ride home was bad too. However, when stopped at a red light, I noticed the latest issue of Power Lifting USA on my passenger side seat. Of course, me being the big guy that I am, it had pizza sauce on it. I said to myself "Hey, ya know what...it's Sunday...It's suppose to be a cheat day...why am I not cheating?" I drove to the only store open at 2:00 AM and grabbed an XL sized bag of peanut MM's and Gatordade.

Next Monday morning I woke up and still felt awful about the whole thing. Then, I said to myself "I can either wallow about this thing and fantasize about how it could work and devote my efforts to it or let it go and concentrate on me for a while." I walked down stairs to the kitchen, took out a 1lb of steak and a head of fresh broccoli, ate it...went to the gym hit a 500lb good morning from the chains then, later that night, went on a date.

Turns out...she lied and still lives in the same spot she did and is seeing some one else who has a boat load of money and buys her anything. She was also seeing him two weeks before she broke up with me:) Mad? Nope, I guess she did what she had to do and if being a gold digger makes her happy then maybe she can do something productive for herself and others. When I see her, I say hi and even hold the door open for her. I don't think I am better then her as a person, but I am better to myself then to be enraged and let something like this lower my quality of life.

Don't let me fool you though...the "off" periods I spoke of, though brief, I did wallow in self pitty and spent 110 percent of my energy trying to "get her back". I also wasn't really training back then at all.


Bret, your situation sounds a litte brighter then mine. The biggest thing here bro is to realize that yes, somone that special and so close to you fills the gaps in your life and can increase the happiness of life greatly. However, just because you two can not be together DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE ANY LESS OF A PERSON. We often look to others to make us happy, to make us realize things, to make us feel completed. Bro, look into yourself and what you have accomplished in your life so far and then look at your level of perseverance, dedication, and will to be the best you can. When you think about it that way then theirs NO WAY POSSIBLE you do not complete yourself.

It's a challenge opening up a heart but very difficult to close it. Remember, look at your awseomeness for a bit then everything good will fall in place.

[Scott Porter]

Anyway, we split up today due to issues on her part. They have nothing to do with me and she says she loves me, but it is something that has to be taken care of and it is going to take some time to deal with

If you are going to share your personal life, why not tell us what these "issues" are that she's having that is cause for your breakup. What situation is she in?

My guess...

1. She's lying...or exaggerating the truth.

and/or

2. She doesn't love you enough to stay together during this "situation" she's in.


Most girls suck at breaking things off and even the ones you think are mature who you have a connection with, will take an easy way out over the truth in an attempt to hurt your feelings less, which in turn makes her feel better about herself.

[chrisklavette]

I like to remedy all problems with gambling. I combine gambling with video games and one final MOST important element. Friends who make fun of you, especially when you are feeling down and vulnerable.

[Nick Buderus]

Lot of good points here, I agree with most of what everybody has written. I buy into the staying busy line of thought for a period of time. If you can, plan your days down to the minute and try to avoid dead time if you can. Like most guys have already said, get back to your life and do the things you enjoy. Another thing that has generally worked for me is to devote more of my time into volunteer work or making myself useful to the people in my life. It's a good break from thinking about what did/didn't or what might work in your relationship and gives you a chance to feel good about something. Eventually you do have to sit down and think about the whole thing and sort through whatever emotions there are and when you do, talk to your friends and family, the people who know you. Even better, talk to people who won't necessarily take your side and just sooth your ego, get some honest opinions. I was told once that good friends know when to take your side but also when to call you out on bs. I doubt there's much of that in your case, just food for thought. Somebody already hit on it, but women communicate a hell of a lot differently than us...don't take too much to heart, think about it if you want to, but you've probably got a better chance of interpreting chinese poetry than you do in totally understanding what your ex means. As far as the physical stuff, that usually goes away in about a week or two (I've been through a few of these) and you're probably a pretty disciplined athlete, but stay away from alcohol for a few weeks. I took out a lot of anger in barroom brawls (when I was a little younger) because of that garbage. If nothing else works, get a dog...I'll sell you my dogs--they're a couple of derelicts. Not trying to be callous with this last one, but welcome to the human condition--we've all been there; do your best to learn from it, let go of any anger that comes up, and hang in there. That broken heart crap is no fun, but at the end of the day--you're the one who chooses what to do with the experience. Good luck and hang tough

[Jonathan Macfarlane]

Just a tip to all the advice givers here...

As men it is our natural way to compare things. Any man who says he doesn't compare girls amongst other things is a liar! Thing is, we also naturally compare situations. So...

Be careful of comparing one persons problems with those of yourself or someone you know. You risk trivialising the situation of the man or woman you're talking to. In a case like this, by all means give tips, but be wary of saying things like, "I had it worse than you." Everyone handles things differently and the last thing one wants is to hear their very real pain is no big deal.

Now... by all means, attempt to surround yourself with good friends if you can.

-Jmac out

[Jonathan Creason]

Remember Brett, everything happens for a reason. If the two of you are truely supposed to be together you will be. If not you'll move on. It'll take some time, but it'll happen.

[davebeers]

Just a tip to all the advice givers here...

As men it is our natural way to compare things. Any man who says he doesn't compare girls amongst other things is a liar! Thing is, we also naturally compare situations. So...

Be careful of comparing one persons problems with those of yourself or someone you know. You risk trivialising the situation of the man or woman you're talking to. In a case like this, by all means give tips, but be wary of saying things like, "I had it worse than you." Everyone handles things differently and the last thing one wants is to hear their very real pain is no big deal.

Now... by all means, attempt to surround yourself with good friends if you can.

-Jmac out
I know what you are saying, and having gone through this 2x(and the 1st time the girl and i were engaged) i can say that there is a point where you can just snap out of it. Many times i had friends call me to try to get me to come out and i would refuse even knowing that if i went out with them i would feel better. I just wanted to stay home and sleep and cry and blah blah blah. After a week of eating 300 calories a day and pitying myself i realized that i had 100 or so opportunities to get over it if i would just had taken the first step. I even could have faked some strength to get out of the house and real strength would have followed soon after when i realized how much i was missing out on and how many people really cared about me. Looking back i now realize how selfish and pathetic i was being. Oh well, hopefully brett is handling this better than i did. I will say that every time this happens it does hurt a little bit less.
Brett should use this to become a training machine, turn the hurt into anger for training.....forget about her while you eat so you can get your food down, watch some training videos while you fall asleep so you don't think about her.

[dave barron]

Just a tip to all the advice givers here...

As men it is our natural way to compare things. Any man who says he doesn't compare girls amongst other things is a liar! Thing is, we also naturally compare situations. So...

Be careful of comparing one persons problems with those of yourself or someone you know. You risk trivialising the situation of the man or woman you're talking to. In a case like this, by all means give tips, but be wary of saying things like, "I had it worse than you." Everyone handles things differently and the last thing one wants is to hear their very real pain is no big deal.

Now... by all means, attempt to surround yourself with good friends if you can.

-Jmac out

Jono, one day you're going to have to tell me just how it is a teenage sheep-shagging Jesusfreak got to be so damn smart. You are right on the money.
I also recommend lots of whisky. This is your chance to get drunk, act like an idiot, listen to crap music and cry a lot. Embrace your pain, wallow it in for exactly three days, then try to pick up the pieces and be stronger for it. Good luck.

[Ian Duggan]

Jono, one day you're going to have to tell me just how it is a teenage sheep-shagging Jesusfreak got to be so damn smart. You are right on the money.
I also recommend lots of whisky. This is your chance to get drunk, act like an idiot, listen to crap music and cry a lot. Embrace your pain, wallow it in for exactly three days, then try to pick up the pieces and be stronger for it. Good luck.
I was going to post a lengthy suggestion, but I think Dave covered it. Especially the bit about Jono...

Feel bad, wallow, get drunk, moan to your friends, whatever... but snap out of it fast. Getting stuck in that kind of frame of mind can do very odd things to you. And at the risk of sounding like a walking cliché, you're young, you've got your heath and your whole life ahead of you. It hurts like a barsteward now, but that'll fade.

[RyanJohnston]

Dude, with ironically enough my first girl from like three or four years ago I learned a valuable lesson recently. I hadn't spoken to her in about a year and a bit so curiosity got the better of me; big mistake. I spoke to her and then out of nowhere she just hangs up and five minutes later I get an e-mail saying 'I've moved on and I don't know why you're talking to me. I don't like much about you anymore'. Of course, that's how she initially tried to break up...via email...yeah (I say TRIED for a reason). Of course, I then sent off a nice reply saying many things that I'd felt for years. I felt a lot better after. Ah, catharsis.

Moral of this story: Women are wondeful and beautiful, but evil creatures too. Trust nothing they say and only half of what you see. If they say they still love you but they need some time or w/e it's a very big chance it's another guy (or in some cases woman). Women like to go 'guy-hopping'. They seem to get over things much faster. It's like when they go shopping; they see it and have to have it. Sounds like you deeply cared for her, though. Keep away from her. If she comes back, likely she got shot down. If it didn't work out the first time....keep busy but take time to get over it a little (but not too much). Go have some fun with some friends. Get your mind off of things. Being alone at these times is bad.

[AdamSmith]

Hello All

Brett you should decide what your goals are in life and put all your energy into achieving them.

A few years ago I was made redundant from my job as an IT consultant, which came out of the blue. In hindsite though, getting made redundant was a good thing because it gave me an opportunity to sit back and assess where I wanted to go in life and what my career goals were. Once I was clear about my goals, I just had to work towards achieving them. I now work in a more lucrative field in IT; getting paid twice as much as most of my friends who graduated with me.

A lot of people wonder through life aimlessly without any goals; I think setting realistic goals helps keep you focused on what is important in your life so that ultimately you have a better, more fulfilled life.

[Mandy Keefer]

I feel for you Bro...going through some shit myself. The way I'm dealing with it? Just finished reading the book "He's just not that into you." Bottom line of the book: If you have to make excuses and give reasons why you aren't being treated the way you deserve....they just aren't that into you (no matter what comes out of their mouth~ ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS). Ask yourself: Would I be doing this to her if the roles were reversed?

I'm going with all the guys on this one!! Train hard, Hang with you friends, or the best way to get over them....get on top of someone else!! (Just don't blame your friends or take it out on them~ this my apology to someone~u know who u are!) Whatever distracts you from the pain because THIS TOO SHALL PASS!! Then you'll look back and wonder why you ever wasted any time on someone that wasn't that into you. You deserve a woman who will kiss the ground you walk on. Don't waste the pretty!!

[Jay O'Neill]

The Horse Whisperer... no not Robert Redford... the Real Horse whisperer. When You chase the Horse it runs... when you ignor it.. it comes right up to you and eats out of your hand... Be the Horse Whisperer!

and if that fails I'm with Adam Keep...... "stab her" :T:

[Kevin Cronin]

The Horse Whisperer... no not Robert Redford... the Real Horse whisperer. When You chase the Horse it runs... when you ignor it.. it comes right up to you and eats out of your hand... Be the Horse Whisperer!

and if that fails I'm with Adam Keep...... "stab her" :T:

yeah, the problem that is inherent with this theory is that I have been ignoring scarlett johanssen (sp?) for years now, and its still not working

[JEFF VANCO]

Concentrate on training and making money - no broad is worth that horse***t

Sleep with as many girls as you can - go have fun.

Look at this guy - he keeps getting back on and going for it - learn from this and move on

:C:

[RyanWilson]

Jono, one day you're going to have to tell me just how it is a teenage sheep-shagging Jesusfreak got to be so damn smart.

I spit water all over my monitor when I read this. Sometimes you're just not prepared for such a thing. Pure gold.

The whisky thing works a bit - I'll second that one. When my wife (then my girlfriend) wanted to break up with me, I chugged a full bottle of red label in less than an hour and whined to my friends until I passed out cold. While drunk, she attempted to call me to discuss things but I was apparently unconscious and unable to converse. The next day we hashed things out and reconciled, which I believe is solely because of my bender the night before. I mean, what else could have been responsible? :D

Seriously, though, any way that you deal with something, the matter is to just pass the time and get through it. Whether you sulk and hit the bottle for a week (a temporary thing, hopefully), or hit the weights harder than ever, time is what it takes to get through the crappy moments. Just don't sit still and wait for things to change - worst idea ever, coming from a guy who suffers some horrendous stretches of depression and knows full well that being idle only makes bad things seem worse than ever. Stay busy, preferably in a good way, but even a semi-bad "hobby" can be better than letting your mind get the best of you by simply waiting and hoping.

[Ian Duggan]

Just don't sit still and wait for things to change - worst idea ever, coming from a guy who suffers some horrendous stretches of depression and knows full well that being idle only makes bad things seem worse than ever.
Ditto and ditto.

Took me about 5 years to learn that one...

[Jonathan Macfarlane]

Jono, one day you're going to have to tell me just how it is a teenage sheep-shagging Jesusfreak got to be so damn smart. You are right on the money.
I also recommend lots of whisky. This is your chance to get drunk, act like an idiot, listen to crap music and cry a lot. Embrace your pain, wallow it in for exactly three days, then try to pick up the pieces and be stronger for it. Good luck.


Lol... I really don't know what to say about that. Read that this morning and went to college with a smile on my face.

I've had to counsel a fair number of mates and youth 12yrs onwards, so I guess a bit of experience helps. My coach says I'm way too intolerant to be a counsellor, he's pretty right, but at the same time I guess I do attempt to care for the guys around me who are struggling. Though, my natural way is just to say, "harden up". I say that to myself probably too often.

-Jesusfreak out

[Jonathan Macfarlane]

Concentrate on training and making money - no broad is worth that horse***t

Sleep with as many girls as you can - go have fun.

Look at this guy - he keeps getting back on and going for it - learn from this and move on

:C:


That's crap advice if I ever saw it. There are enough used and abused women in this world. Pointless supporting that cause for you own gain.

[JEFF VANCO]

Oh get off your high horse kid - so noble.

Some of you take everything to heart - too many sensitive guys on this forum.

I'm telling the kid to go have fun and stop worrying about some girl - who obviously doesn't care.

[Brett Hagmann]

she needed to see me today, so i went over to her place...here's what went down:

her ex of 2 years has been trying to get back with her and he has had a really rough life growing up and he is not right in the head and she didn't want to hurt him and keep adding to his pain. I showed her that she has the strength to stand up to him and tell him no. She confessed to me that she is in-love with me. i told her am by her side all the way and that she needs to handle the situation right away. I've had to confront the ex before and i'm ready to do it again. i just want her to end it so we can move on. he is moving away in 2 weeks btw. any suggestions?

[AaRoNSnider]

These are only my opinions.
1.Stay strong if things dont work(although I hope they do).You have to stay busy,and pursue your goals more than ever before.Be selfish with that
2.I HATE situations with ex's.If she really loves you she should ditch that guy in every way ASAP.No meeting,no phone calls..nothing.He may have had a bad life,but YOU shouldnt have to be the one that pays for the troubles in his past.It seems to me that 99% of the time when an ex boyfriend calls,his intentions are more than just"I just need someone to talk to"
3.Jay is right about the Horse Whisperer.If she starts playing head games,walk away and let her see that you can have a great time without her.Dont let her pull the crap that most chicks pull like "if you love me so much then how can you go out and have a great time without me now"...thats just begging for you to say"oh baby I do love you.Im not really having a good time without you!!!"Thats just shoing her that she has you in the palm of your hand.

Overall just stay positive!Stay busy and keep your mind occupied so that you arent dwelling on the situation with her all day.Plan your training,plan your diet,get outside,train,work,eat,sleep,pray.I hope things work out for you bro.Be the man in the situation.

[Mike Pelosi]

hey bro I commend you for willing to stick by her with all of this. Honestly, I'd ditch the whole situation, head to the gym, then go out to eat at a place that has a good fried seafood platter but that's just me. However, I've probably yet to find a girl worth all of this. Apparently, at this point, you have and try to get as little involved as possible man.

[JEFF VANCO]

Well congrats bro - just be careful with this ex - bf - sometimes fellas trip and end up killing the other guy - I know this - it happened to a friend of mine over Christmas.

Just watch yourself - don't trust anyone. In the heat of the moment it doesn't take much to get shot or stabbed.

[Troy Zama]

I'm telling the kid to go have fun and stop worrying about some girl - who obviously doesn't care.


yeh i agree no point fretting over one girl in millions.

[AaRoNSnider]

Just watch yourself - don't trust anyone. In the heat of the moment it doesn't take much to get shot or stabbed.

Very true.Dude Ive been so angry at other guys over situations with girls that it felt like not much could stop me if I lost myself and started fighting.It seems that tearing the guy apart would make you feel alot better even if you get in trouble,but in the end it wont be worth it.Even if you fight,the anger will still come back,and what do you do then??Keep fighting?NOPE!Thats where hitting the gym and training ALOT becomes very important.

[Jonathan Macfarlane]

Oh get off your high horse kid - so noble.

Some of you take everything to heart - too many sensitive guys on this forum.

I'm telling the kid to go have fun and stop worrying about some girl - who obviously doesn't care.


I'm not on any high horse, Vanco.

I just said your advice to go shag anything that breathes is stupid.

[HunterHenzler]

Well congrats bro - just be careful with this ex - bf - sometimes fellas trip and end up killing the other guy - I know this - it happened to a friend of mine over Christmas.

Happened to my brother also...he was dating a girl...and her ex-husband and my bro got in an argument...Wound up being stabbed in the back...The guy only got 7 years in prison...self-defense...btw-My brother was stabbed 16 times, in the back I believe..
Self-defense my ***..Too bad I never got to know my brother (i was only 2, and had just moved from Florida to TX)

Be careful Brett...I hope things work out the way you want!

[JEFF VANCO]

I'm not on any high horse, Vanco.

I just said your advice to go shag anything that breathes is stupid.

Well - maybe that was a bit harsh - but I just meant go have some fun.

[JEFF VANCO]

Happened to my brother also...he was dating a girl...and her ex-husband and my bro got in an argument...Wound up being stabbed in the back...The guy only got 7 years in prison...self-defense...btw-My brother was stabbed 16 times, in the back I believe..
Self-defense my ***..Too bad I never got to know my brother (i was only 2, and had just moved from Florida to TX)

Be careful Brett...I hope things work out the way you want!



Sorry bro - that's terrible. Payback is a muther.

[ShanePetrelli]

Hunter sorry to hear about your brother thats horrible. Brett a n old friend of mine used to say that you have to "buckle up your boot straps and move forward in life". I realize it can be hard to move on. However you should try not to let a woman or anything derail you off of your goals and aspirations. I would suggest to try to use some of your frustrations to fuel your workouts. I'm sure you hit some big PR's in a few weeks. Just continue on with your daily routines and who knows what will happen. She might realize that she made a mistake. She might also see that even when she was gone you remained strong, and still stayed on track. From what i know women like a strong stable guy whom they can depend on. I too have had alot of heartache and frustrations with women. I had a girl break my heart several times when she said she didnt want a bf and ended up having 3 or so. However i always remained friends with her because i knew she was meant to be with me. Just like you know that. I was friends with this girl for almost 6 years before i actually kissed her. I'm still currently with her. Bottom line dont quite on your progress and stay in touch with her even if she is seeing someone else. Chances are she will see what she is missing out on. Above all else keep your head up your only 21 and you have alot more living and experiences to come. Stay Strong...
Shane

[Alan Benninga]

My advice is to run dude, and don't look back. This is too much drama from a 30 year old woman.

[Ian Duggan]

I was just thinking that. I'd missed the fact that she was 30 until I re-read the thread.

Honestly, her behaviour is a little odd regardless, but to be doing stuff like this when she's old enough to know better is definitely odd.

Sure this isn't a case of her trying to have her cake and eat it? I'm not entirely clear why she needs to be apart from you to deal with / help her ex.

[James Davis]

What I always do:


GFTOW


Go F(have sex with) Ten Other Women

[Ian Duggan]

You're the man! [/sarcasm]

[Kristyn Vytlacil]

All I have to say is that some of you "men" disappoint me.

[Bob Wanamaker]

any suggestions?

http://www.glock.com/images/safeaction_pistol.jpg

Just not on yourself, please.

[James Davis]

All I have to say is that some of you "men" disappoint me.


Ha.. Looks like we got some guys suffering from horrible cases of one-itis..

In my opinion, if there is a woman you really like, chances are there are hundreds more in your area that you could get along with just as easily..

Solution: Get outside and find those women!

[Paul Savage]

ive heard an read a lot of people say that they couldn't do what they do without the partner, an thats fine, but that aint me - ive done that, ive been there, i gave years, an i gave tears, an ya know what i got? NOTHING

me for its like this, ive got one goal in life, if im anybody, if im ever gonna be anything, im gonna be a professional strongman - thats my world, thats my life, i aint gonna let anything or anybody stand in my way >emotional attachments dont exist

i would never even think about telling you what to do bro, you know whats best for you better than i do, im just giving you my personal thoughts on the subject

[Kristyn Vytlacil]

Ha.. Looks like we got some guys suffering from horrible cases of one-itis..

In my opinion, if there is a woman you really like, chances are there are hundreds more in your area that you could get along with just as easily..

Solution: Get outside and find those women!

I think you misunderstood what I was saying.... I was talking about being disappointed in those responses that suggested that Brett just get right back out there in the dating scene. I personally don't think "one-itis" is such a terrible thing, but that's probably just b/c I'm a girl.